John looked around for a second or two after leaving the barn. The early morning sun promised another hot day. Mists rose from the ponds and the sky was cloudless."Red sky at night,sailors delight. Red sky in morning, sailor take warning." He thought of the poem with its storm predicting rhyme."What I wouldn't give for a red morning sky" he muttered to himself. John cleaned his boots on the boot scraper just off the porch step, and wiped them on the “Welcome” mat by the door. He walked across the wooden kitchen floor to the coffee pot, poured himself a cup, and leaned against the cabinets. His wife, Mary, was looking out the window. He took a sip of the hot brew, and then stared into the cup. Mary released the curtain and turned to her husband. “Are you going to do it without telling them?”
“I have no choice, Mary” he said still looking at his cup, avoiding her gaze. She went to the stove and turned the bacon that was frying in the iron skillet, “I know you have no choice about doing it, but you can choose to tell them first.” John walked to the table and sat down at his usual spot, he stared at the hearts and stars on the table cloth. Without raising his head he said “I thought to just get it done, and then explain it to them later”.Mary looked up at the ceiling, “It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission,” Mary quoted. John looked up for the first time, “It’s a farm Mary, and they’ll learn that it’s all part of it. There’s livin’ and leavin’ everyday here. It just has to be.”
Mary loaded a plate with bacon, eggs and potatoes. She set it in front of him and returned to the oven for biscuits. “I know there’s ‘living and leaving’, John", she set the biscuits down and then pulled out a chair and sat sideways in it. She laid her slender hand on his and looked up into his eyes, “just like there’s a wheel and a hub. But between the wheel and hub is grease. It’s grace that eases a thing a bit, that makes a thing softer to accept”. She put her folded hands in her lap, “I say, explain to them what you’re doing and why. Then let them be part of the decision… not victims of it.”
John looked at his wife of 18 years. He thought how pretty she was and, though he realized he didn’t tell her often enough, how wise she was. The drought had turned highly productive farm ground to dry powder. Livestock prices were dropping daily as more and more folks sold off their herds. Every day seemed to bring more bad news to families whose lives depended on the weather and the land. The past five years had been a strain on all of the family but, coupled with the loss of her father last month, Mary had suffered the most.Yet, she somehow kept her head up, and found an optimistic grain in every situation that befell them. She had always felt they would pull through this. “I guess you’re right’ He said finally, “I’ll tell the kids before I go.”
“Tell us what?” Their young son Caleb came down the stairs, buttoning his shirt as he sat down at the table. At nearly the same time, his sister Elisabeth, ‘Lizzy’, entered from the living room. “That Dad’s selling the horses,” Lizzy interjected, throwing a look at John then Mary.“The horse trailer is hooked to the truck at 6:20 in the morning .You’re heading to Cody." She said this while wearing a look that said ‘I’m not stupid after all.’ At sixteen Lizzy was a beauty who looked like her father, but she was her mother through and through. There was a few seconds of awkward silence.
“It’s okay Dad”, said Caleb as he turned to look at his father “we know how bad things are.” Then it was Lizzy who said, “We’ll get new horses when things get better, if things get better. Anyway, we all have to help. It’s alright Daddy. Really.” John looked over at Mary and fought back a tear. He rose from the table,walked to the door and pulled his hat from the peg. He looked out the door glass, then walked back to the table to kiss each of his children on the top of their heads.
“You can tell us things” Caleb said as he looked up at his dad, “we can handle it”.
John kissed his wife on the cheek, then looked back at his kids and forced a smile “ I know” he said.
He put on his hat, walked outside and climbed into the truck.
