She wore only a hint of aging after all these years. Her laugh lines showed maturity, and there was a touch of gray in her hair, but her slender frame was the same as when they were young. "Hello, kid. Still sneaking up on me aren't you? How've you been?"
"Still calling me kid at my age?" she chuckled, "You always did, even though I was only four years behind you." Becky grew up on a farm neighboring Dan's grandpa's place. The first time she and Dan met, Dan was squirrel hunting in the hardwoods. He was aiming at an old hickory branch, and just about to the pull the trigger, when she had called from behind him "What are you shootin' at?" Dan had jumped, and so had the squirrel. "Geeze, kid,' he had complained, "you scared him away!" "I reckon I scared you more" she snickered. "Where did you come from anyway?" "Heck, I've been followin you for an hour" she grinned. They had made introductions and become friends that day. Though time and chance had sent them in different directions in life, they had a common interest that kept them in touch with each other through the years. They remained close despite the distance.
"I'm so sorry about your Dad, Danny. John treated me like a daughter." "He loved you, Becks, ever since we were kids. 'Thanks' ain't enough I guess... for all you've done to help him." Becky bit her lip and looked out across the lot. She cleared her throat, wiped at her eyes, then forced a smile, "You headed out to the ranch?" John looked away a second, then back to her, "Yeah... I'm headed there now." She placed her hands in her back jeans pockets , "Want some company, cowboy?"
He nodded, looked back at the burial tent, and then smiled at her "Yeah... hop in."
It was 15 miles from the small rural town to the three hundred and twenty acres that Dan had once called home. He knew every inch of the ground, and that of every farm and ranch adjoining it. Riding horseback or walking, he had hunted, hiked, and trailed every acre as a boy. When he left it age 18, he thought he'd be back someday soon, but life happened, and now he was fifty six, and had only come home a couple of times a year. He left, all those years ago, in anger, and each time he had returned, a little of that old anger had rekindled. He had loved his father, and the ranch, but there were circumstances that had made staying there impossible for him. He had moved out six days after his high school graduation. He went to an agricultural college, where he became a star for the rodeo team. He'd made his way over the years; from an active rodeo participant, to manager, to an event coordinator in the business. His present job kept him travelling the circuit often.
" A penny for your thoughts, cowboy?" "Not worth much more than that,kid," he smiled, "just thinking is all." Becky nodded as she looked out the passenger side window, "You'll have a lot to think about." Dan looked a her quizzically, but said nothing more.
Becky watched the hills and fields go by. The sun was warm through the windshield this cool autumn day. The trees in the hills and along the highway were a kaleidoscope of colors. The cattle and horses in the pastures were grazing contentedly; their tails swishing back and forth, heads bowed to the grass beneath their feet. She looked over at Dan who stared out the windshield, one hand on the steering wheel, his left arm braced on the door. Searching for a subject, Becky said "John put the forty in hay this year, and it did great. Four cuttings." Dan turned from the main highway onto a dusty gravel lane. "That's good. Guess it doesn't make a lot of difference though, since she sold all the livestock as quick as she could. She'll need a buyer." The hint of bitterness in his voice didn't escape Becky. Dans' disdain for his step-mother had not softened much over the years.
They rounded a curve, then topped a little hill. In the the valley below, the ranch lay before them like a painting, in the gap between the hills. Dan stopped the truck, leaned forward on the wheel, and looked through the windshield. After a moment, he said "Well there it is. Grandad used to say we had three hundred twenty acres, half of it straight up", he smiled as he looked at the hills. Then he shook his head a little, "She'll sell this place, that my great-grandfather settled, like a garage sale item. Then the 'Wicked Witch of the East' will return to Boston living off of the money from my families blood, sweat, and tears. All because my dad was charmed by her." He turned to Becky, and forced a smile, "Sorry...old feelin's I guess. I know Dad was lonely after Mom died, but there's things in this world worse than loneliness. I'll take lonely over henpecked any day." He took his foot off the brake and drove on toward the ranch. Becky just reached over and patted him on the shoulder.
The old house was in a little need of repairs. Shrubs had grown too close to the house, and they hung a little over the front porch. The posts needed painting and the bottom step had started to rot. All this was evidence of his fathers illness. John Parker wouldn't have let this deterioration happen if he had been well. Dan never knew him to sit when he had work in front of him. His dad had always risen early and stayed hard-at-it till after supper. Hard work was as an every day happening on this ranch. But the evenings had usually been peaceful ..until his stepmother arrived on the scene.
The rocking chairs on the porch were pointed west as always. His dad had loved to watch the setting sun each evening. Just a couple of months ago, Dan had sat with his father on the porch. John had sat wrapped in a blanket in his old rocker, "I love watching the world quiet down after a busy day", he'd said, "it's been hustle and bustle since daylight, but now the evenin' comes, and it grows still and peaceable.' He had hung his head, looked at his boots, then turned to look at Dan," I'm runnin' out of daylight, Danny, I feel the sun settin' in me. The next time you come home it'll be to plant me on Cemetery Hill. I don't want a big to-do, son. Just keep it simple and quick." Dan had looked back at the house, then said, "I doubt I'll have much say in the matter."
John replied "Don't be too rough on Jill, Danny. She was a big city girl who never caught on to country life. She has her good points." Dan had too much respect for his ailing father to drag up old wounds, so he simply nodded, and said nothing more.
"Danny ? There's Bob Nolan's car". Dan left his memory behind, and looked in the direction Becky was pointing. Bob had been the family attorney for as long as Dan could remember. Bob and his dad had been high school football players together, and life-long friends. At six feet four, he was nearly as imposing as he had been on that ball field all those many years ago. He still wore the same flat-top haircut, though his hair was completely silver now. "Probably wants to break some more bad 'Jill news' to me". Dan pulled his truck up to the big white barn and got out. "Bob?"
Bob pulled an envelope from the passenger seat of the car and handed it to Dan. "Figured I'd better catch ya while I could; before you decided to head back to the wild west again" he grinned. "Your Dad and Jill came in three weeks ago to draw up some final papers. John wanted me to ask you to do this." Dan opened the envelope and dumped an old Ford key into his hand. "Everything you need is in the glove box," Bob gave Dan a handshake and a hand on the shoulder, "Best of luck to you, son," And after a hug with Becky and a tip of the hat, Bob got in his car and headed out of the drive.
Dan turned the key over in his hand and frowned, "It's to grandpa's old truck." Becky turned and started toward the lean-to shed, she came back and ran her arm through Dan's, "Well,come on, let's see what this is about." Dan raised his eyebrows, took a deep breath, and shook his head, "Strange."
They walked around the barn to a gray metal lean-to shed that was attached to it. There, beside the lean-to, was the rusty old Ford pickup that had sat in the same spot for years. Becky stepped up on the bumper, then sat down on the hood while Dan put the key in the door lock. The key worked smoothly, "Somebody WD 40'd the lock, I reckon,". The door moaned and popped when Dan opened it, "Shoulda worked the hinges over too," he smiled. Becky smiled while she pulled off a boot, and shook it to release some irritant that was inside.The heat from the closed up truck escaped into the cool air, and Dan slid behind the wheel. Without thinking, he put a hand to the steering wheel and one on the floor shift knob. He had learned to drive in this truck at 10 years old. He resisted the urge to put the key in the ignition, and reached to the glove box instead.
In the glove box, Dan found a large manila envelope curled up inside. He pulled it out and turned to read his name on the outside, "It's Dads handwriting all right," he said out of the door to Becky, who was still on the hood, looking at him through the windshield.
He sat looking at the envelope for a minute, then sighed "Well, let's see what you're up to John Parker."
Becky slid down off the hood of the old truck. "Lets go in the house first and make some coffee. Want to?" Dan tucked the envelope under his arm, and closed the truck door. As they walked toward the house, Dan filled his nostrils in a deep breath, then exhaled. "The smell of fresh hay in a barn has got to be one of God's gifts to man," he grinned "even Jill loved the smell of hay when it was cut and drying."
Becky nodded in agreement, "There are some things Jill came to like over time. She loved the horses, and she seemed to really enjoy harvest time around here. I think the scurrying of the wagons and trucks, the combines in the fields, and all the busy rush at harvest is appealing to her. She has to be busy all the time." Then Becky grinned, "Now, the smell of livestock? She never had any love for that... even if it was part of payin' the bills."
They stepped up to the back porch and Dan opened the door for Becky. Once inside Becky went to the business of making coffee. "Kind of cool in here." Dan nodded. He set the envelope on the table and walked into the living room. "Jill hasn't been home since she went back to Boston over a week ago. So, I doubt the heat is on yet."
Dan walked into the living room and tossed his hat on the couch. "It worked out good that she had Dads funeral while I was away. I'm glad she didn't wait for me to get back. It was nice to have my own private time at his grave." He raised his voice a little so Becky could hear him. He opened the fireplace doors and found kindling and logs already in place for a fire. Dan smiled and shook his head. He and his dad loved the warmth of a wood fire on cool days and nights. 'It's all natural heat,' his dad would say. The smoky smell, and the feel of hardwood fires had always comforted them both. Now, here was a fire just waiting for a match to press it into service. "She couldn't wait to get back to the city life I reckon." He watched the kindling glow and pop as it began to burn. The smell of fresh coffee permeated the room.
Becky came to the doorway, "Can we drink in here where it's warm?" "Sure... you know if you'd put a little meat on those bones you'd stay warmer, Skinny Minnie." As she poured the black liquid in to two cups, she called back, "Oh Yeah? Want to arm wrestle, Cowboy? I was bucking bales all summer while you sat all cozy in a booth, and watched broncos toss men skyward." Dan chuckled, "I'll pass on the arm wrestle for now; don't want to spill good coffee, kid." "Uh huh," Becky grinned as she sat the coffee on an end table near Dan, and at a table near the couch for herself. She returned to the kitchen, then brought the big envelope to Dan's table.
"You know what this is all about?" asked Dan as he lifted the cup to his lips and reached for the envelope. "Some of it maybe, but not all. John confided a few things before he passed"
Becky looked into the fire as she sipped, "Your dad loved you like everything, Danny. I think he missed you every day that you were gone. He always hated it that Jill came between y'all." She looked up at Dan, " I can't tell you the times I'd help him with a decision and he'd say ,'Wonder what Danny would think of this?' ...even after all these years..." She smiled a little snarl, " ...so what was my opinion worth any way?" Dan smiled, "It was worth a lot, Beck, he thought you were the smartest woman in the cattle business." "Oh yeah? ...and you?" He winked at her, "I think you're one of the smartest women I know...period." She raised her eyebrows and grinned "I'm going to hold you to that."
Dan took a look at the envelope, and set his cup down, "Well let's see what you have to say, Dad." Inside the large envelope were two smaller, letter size, envelopes. One was addressed 'Danny'. Dan left the thicker of the two envelopes on the table, and sat back in the leather chair. Becky sat on the couch with her legs curled beneath her. She looked anxiously at Dan over her coffee cup as he began to read:
Dear Danny,
"I'm not much for writing, as you know, but I'll try to say this as best I can.
First, I want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't stronger for you after your Mom died so suddenly. I loved her with all my heart and soul. When she died, well, I was lost. She had been my oxygen since we were kids. Now I was alone, and I had never in my life felt so cold and empty. There was just this big hollow place in me that I knew would never be filled again.
I had you, thank God, and I loved you with all my heart, and to be honest, I was scared. I was afraid I couldn't bring you up like your Mom could have. You were just 12 years old then, and such a great kid. There was a whole lot of lifes journey in front of us, and now I had no co-pilot. I used to come into your room at night, when you were asleep, and stand in the door and pray. Just wanted God's help to bring you up right. I felt totally inadequate.
I was also afraid that I couldn't manage the farm without her. Your mother was always the smart one in this outfit. I had the backbone, we used to say, and she had the brains. I knew cattle, horses, and all that, but it was Mom who managed the books, and she kept the money flowing. Working the livestock, keeping things repaired, was all I was really good at. I worked hard all my life, but, as you know, a ranch has to be worked smart as well. I was gonna need help. And that brings me to Jill. I believe that there was a reason we met at that convention.
I know you said, when you were younger, that you thought Jill was using me for my money. Truth is, when Jill came along the farm was in bad shape. Honestly, she is the reason we made it through some tough times. I was probably more guilty of using her, than the other way around. She knew business and I needed help, and companionship. We both needed companionship.
She tried to fill the void left by your Mom's death, and I tried to furnish her with a new life after her failed marriage. She had never been a mother, and suddenly found herself with a teenage boy to help raise. She was born and raised in a big city, and came out here looking for a new and different kind of life. It just took a whole lot more adjusting than she ever imagined it would.
When we met, we were both looking for something other than real love. Love came years later, but I know it was hard for you, at times, to watch two people trying to make the best of a less than optimal situation.
I should have spoken to you about all this while you were still at home, but I have never been the communicator I should have been. Maybe my pride wouldn't let me admit some things. Fact is, Jill was a strong woman, and her strength came across as hard nosed opinionating at times. She was the exact opposite of your mother in demeanor, I know, but like your Mom, she was smart and determined. She worked as hard as she could here, and has lovingly cared for me since my diagnosis. Now, she is ill also.
Not only has she had to help me with my illness, but she told me that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She would not let me tell you, for fear you would feel you had to leave your job and come care for us old folks. We will manage until the end, and since you're reading this, that means my time has come. So,here is what we have planned...."
Dan put the letter down at that point, and looked over at Becky, "I didn't know about Jill. Did you?"
"Yeah, she told me about two weeks before she told your dad. She was afraid the stress of worrying about her would weaken him further, and it did, but there were too many business issues involved to not tell him. They both told me I could not help them anymore if I told you. I dialed you a few times, but hung up because they were so adamant that I hold off telling you."
Becky put her feet on the floor, clasped her hands, and leaned toward Dan, "Jill sold the cattle and most of the equipment after John died, for two reasons: it paid off the remaining balance on the farm, it's free and clear now, and it allowed her to go to Boston for treatment. I guess you know about the ranch from the letter?" He sipped from his cup and asked, "What about it?" "Better read on then."
Dan continued reading the particulars of his fathers business and funeral plans in the letter, and then read...
"..Now, about why this letter was in the old truck. I wanted you behind that wheel again, remembering the feel and smell of that old Ford, and thinking of the good times we had when you were home. Those were some of our best days, driving that old truck back then. Windows down, dust and wind in our hair in the summer. Trying to squeeze every ounce of warmth out of the old heater in the winter. Just me, you, and Granddad. That truck's got a lot of rust, and a whole lot of memories. I want you to restore it completely, Danny, as a favor to me, and to yourself.
You are gonna need that old truck to begin ranching again. I couldn't have anyone else behind that wheel, or running this ranch either. In all the years, I never tried to get you to return to the ranch, no matter how bad I wanted it, but now, I want you to come home. Its time you retired from rodeo life, and settled down with a good woman this time.
Jill worked out the finances so that the ranch is free. We both wanted you to have a chance to ranch unimpeded by previous debt. Jill never wanted this place, she always felt it was yours to inherit. I know you'll make it just fine. You work hard, and you have your mothers smarts.
One final thing. Please find it in your heart to make peace with Jill. It would mean a lot to me, and to her. She has little family besides you now. Danny, walking through this life is hard enough without carrying the added burden of old anger to weight us down every day. Try to let go of the anger,and lighten your load,son.
Best of luck to you,Danny. I know you will make the ranch all it should be if you decide to stay. You've made me proud every day of your life. I love you son.
Love, Dad
P.S If you finally decide to settle down with a good woman, you know you don't have far to look."
Dan smiled through misty eyes and folded the letter and put it back in the envelope. He opened the next envelope to find legal documents that made him owner of the family ranch. He placed the envelopes on the table again, and stood to his feet. Becky looked up at him, "A lot to take in, isn't it? More coffee?" She gathered the cups. " Yeah, thanks, I will." Becky headed for the kitchen, "Be right back".
Dan opened the door and walked out onto the porch. He sat down in his dads rocker and looked out across the pastures toward the west. He sat with his leg crossed and his hat in his lap. Becky came out, handed him his steaming cup, and sat down in the other rocking chair. Nothing was said between them for several minutes. They just sat and watched the sun lower in the lavender and neon orange sky. Finally, Dan turned to her.
"So, Jill has been getting chemo treatments in Boston?" Becky sat with her hands wrapped around her cup and looked at the porch floor. "Yes, it's been a little rough I hear. Wish she would've stayed closer, but a family friend is her Oncologist there in Boston." Dan nodded. He stood up, and walked to the edge of the porch. He leaned against the post, and sipped from his cup as he looked out across the ranch. After a few minutes, Becky asked "You have any idea what you'll do, Danny?"
Dan took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. He put on his hat and nodded affirmatively, "Yeah...I do." He reached for Becky's hand and they walked across the yard together to the pasture fence. Dan put a boot on the bottom fence rail, then placed his forearms across the top rail. After a bit he looked at the ground, "Well... I have a rusty old truck that I have to get to Troutman's Garage for a tune up and body work. I have a resignation letter to compose..." he took another sip from his cup, "...I need to think about getting some feeder calves to winter over, maybe some cows."
The air was chilly now, and a gentle breeze moved the limbs of the pine trees. The Whippoorwills' lonely evening call came from the woods. Becky pointed, "Look." Fifty yards in front of them, two deer walked from the woods edge to the pasture, then bowed their heads to nibble at the ground. Dan and Becky stood silently and watched them for a few minutes. Becky shivered a little and turned up her collar.
Dan took another deep breath and sighed, "Yep, there's an awful lot to do." He turned around, and he and Becky started back across the yard toward the house. "There's one thing that I know I have got to do first of all, though." Becky looked over at him, "Yeah?" He stopped and turned to her.
With a smile he asked, "Have you ever been to Boston, kid?"
