Country Funeral

The sky is dressed in its winter coat today. The varying shades of gray hides the sun and makes the temps feel even colder than it is. The dampness settles around my collar and makes me wish I'd started my winter beard sooner. The thicker facial hair would warm me up a bit. My cowboy hat does its job of keeping my head warm though. Winter is upon us. This less than bright and shiny winters day matches some of my inner being as I reflect over recent events.

Yesterday I attended the funeral of a great friend. He was nearly the same age as me. We'd known each other a long time. His wife and I had had connections to my home state of Kentucky that went way back to our childhood. Their children had grown up as friends to our children; they remain good friends to this day. His family and mine share more connections than I have time to write about.  His faith in  God and conservative views were a strong match to mine. Like-minded, he and I have tried to live Christian lives despite our struggles with our own human nature; neither of us perfect men, just men determined to keep on trying to make each day a little better than the last. He was just much better at it than me.

In a small rural town in southern Illinois a few hundred folks from three or four states gathered to pay respects to the big man whose smile, laughter, and heart matched his girth. As we made our way from all directions to the town hall where he lay, the sky was a display of brilliant blue, and the wind had the chill of early winter beneath its wings. Doctors, law enforcement, corporate leaders, farm and ranch folks, ministers, and cowboys all drove in the night before, or got up before the sun did, to make it to this mans last gathering with his friends. Alan loved visiting with people. He loved to laugh, talk, tease, and just plain enjoy the company of other like minded individuals. He'd have loved the crowd. And the food...my goodness.

The meal after the burial was all that you'd expect from rural Americans paying their respects. Meats, salads, breads, deserts, and dishes of every conceivable type were brought in by the friends of this good family. Food comforts and strengthens the soul. At the time when our world has changed so dramatically and the shaky future is seen through a clouded glass, food and friends are the support system that never fails. No one knows how to bring that kind of comfort more than country folks do. Brought one loving dish at a time, hours and hours of kitchen dwelling was made evident in the feast  that was offered on the long rows of tables. Folks ate and told their favorite stories of the man whose love of life and family were legend. We were all glad to have known him...and glad to know each other.

Time and again the remark was made (as it almost always is) that "we need to get together somewhere other than a funeral." Everyone promises to call or see each other soon, "while we can." We all mean it, sincerely mean it, but our busy lives will likely keep us apart until another of us passes, and we all come together again in support. And that's okay. The fact remains that, when we're needed the most, we will be there. That's just what friends and family do. With country folks, the line between friends and family is often blurred. Love, after all, knows no boundaries.

So as I load wood in the stove for warmth on this chilly morn, I'm warmed inside by the thought of yesterdays gathering. While bittersweet, we were all brought together in fellowship and love. We'd taken time out of our often hectic existences to come together for a greater good. As I thought of my wonderful friends, from here and far away, that I was able to spend a wonderful day with, I was immensely grateful.  A powerful magnet of kindness, caring, and compassion drew us collectively to the side of those who mourned their loss...and we were all rewarded. Alan was that magnet yesterday. It was just the way he'd have wanted it. It was special to me, the joy and sorrow interwoven.

So, as I say adios to an old friend I also have to say thanks to him. Thanks for years of friendship, miles of smiles, a barrel full of laughs, and a shared love of all the important things. And as for bringing together the greatest folks in the world yesterday ? Well, as usual, Alan old buddy, I owe you.

Some friends and family who came to say goodbye.